Foiled Plans
by Babylawyer
Summary: A pre-curse AU where Regina hires Robin to get rid of Snow for her. Cover image by @CarolinaMR9


Hallelujah, she's finally fucking free of her horrendous husband. She'd stopped him from touching her, neutralized any threat he had years ago, but he had still had to have the appearance of being in charge so she'd still had to suffer under his "reign." Which was really just the things she would allow him to do. She'd let him think he maintained a semblance of control, that she was still afraid of him, not nearly as powerful as she is, so she could do what's she's now done, take him out.

And now he's gone and she should be happy, should be ecstatic, she's so close to everything she ever wanted and yet she feels oddly empty. She's oddly numb over the king's death, when she should be rejoicing, screaming from the rooftops that that bastard is finally dead, can never do anything to hurt her again.

It must be because the girl—the source of her damnation for years—is still alive. Once Snow is gone, the one who robbed her of the life she dreamed of, who caused her Daniel's death, who trapped her in a marriage of pain beyond what she could have ever imagined. Once she is dead, then Regina will be happy. She has to be!

She's not an idiot, contrary to popular belief, she knows she can't take out Snow. As much as she was a reluctant Queen, its Snow's title and she's going to delight in every damn minute she holds it instead of that insipid girl. She won't sacrifice that for the pleasure of taking Snow out herself. As attractive as snuffing the girl's life out of her with Regina's bare hands is, she knows the long term benefit of ruling Snow's kingdom in her stead will ultimately be more rewarding. She's willing to forgo the short term gratification for the long term satisfaction of knowing she took away everything that girl valued and holds it herself.

Yes, that's what she needs, that will make her finally free and unfettered, will bring her the happiness she's been robbed of for years because of what Snow did to her.

All she needs is to disguise the girl's death. She's tempted to push her off of the castle, have it seem like an act of desperate grief, but she can't risk someone seeing no matter how good it would feel. It's the same reason she didn't kill Leopold herself, it's not worth the risk. She's always played a long term game, she's not about to throw that all away just for a fleeting moment of bliss. If she was going to do that she would have offed them both years ago.

She needs Snow's death to be completely outside of her, from someone no one would associate with her.

It takes days of musing, before she comes up with an idea. Days of fighting the urge to vomit, as she snuggles up with her stepdaughter and offers words of encouragement, trying to cement their relationship as one that is good, so no one will ever suspect her of what she's plotting. The people don't know Snow like she does, and her attempts to show them how awful she really is have failed. So she changed her strategy, is now playing the loving mother Snow always wanted—the selfish wish that had Daniel killed and left Regina bleeding.

It's as she's hugging Snow during their mourning time for that asshole that she has an idea—god, once she's in charge she's repealing this ridiculous rule that the family of a king sits by his casket every day for a whole season grieving. She, of course, had to kill Leopold right at the beginning of the fall, such that she and Snow are set to "grieve together" until the end of December when it's officially winter. She hadn't thought about these ridiculous rituals, too focused on taking advantage of the opportunity that presented itself.

She cannot spend another eighty days by Snow's side offering comfort over that man's death, she cannot.

That's why her idea is so brilliant. She can't believe she didn't think of it sooner. She needs someone who hates her, or at least what her sovereignty stands for, to do the job, and who better than Robin Hood.

He's said to be an honourable man, but she knows all men even so-called honourable ones will break for the right price. She's seen pictures of him, it's not as offensive as usual that she might have to give him her body. He's actually attractive, and in another life, if she wasn't her, she might actually seek out his company. But that's not what she's seeking him out for, no, she needs him for something far more sinister. She'll break down his honour, find out what he really wants, and grant it, in exchange for him giving her what she wants.

She knows as queen she's not supposed to offer fair trades (at least that's how Leopold operated preferring to show off his power). Rumors of her magic have spread, wild ideas running rampant. She never put a stop to it even though she could because she knew it would serve her one day and now it will.

She knows the thing Leopold could never figure out, that rumours of all the ways she can exercise her power to punish someone are even better than real incidents of cruelty. The mystery of no one knowing for sure makes it even more alluring, makes it spread further.

Leopold had an MO everyone knew, and exploited, she wants to remain a surprise because she will not be exploited anymore. She had years of that and she is never being taken advantage of again, she had magic for god's sake.

She's aware she's attractive, has seen the stares of men, and some women, when she shows a little more skin, or wears something tight to show off her curves. As queen she learned how to dress, how to move so she drew people in, enraptured them. But she never went the distance, it was treason, and none of her targets had ever been worth it, she was simply practicing the art of seduction so she use it when she needed it.

And today she might need it. She selects a red velvet long sleeve dress with a black overlay across the open chest. It's seemingly demure but it's tight to her curves and her bare skin under that overlay draws the eyes. She puts her hair half up, does sultry eye make up and she's more than pleased with the result when she looks in her mirror.

She's fixing her boobs, propping them up more so her cleavage is even more irresistible when a face pops up in her mirror and startles her.

"Looking lovely, my queen," the genie says and she wonders how long he's been spying on her before making his presence known, then she realizes she really doesn't want to think about that.

She glares at him for obstructing her view as she asks, "Why are you here?"

"He's escaped your guards my queen. They are trying to get him back but looking in all the wrong places."

What idiots. Leopold seemed to have a knack for picking the dumbest most useless men for his guard. She's tempted to fire them all and start fresh but she knows that would raise suspicion. However, once Snow is dead, she can use her death as an excuse to replace all of those imbeciles.

Their utter incompetence has served her in the past, is how she was able to sneak off to Maleficent's and to her lessons with Rumple. She misses her dragon friend (and sometimes lover) but lately Mal's been wanting Regina to give up on vengeance, which she won't do, making things strained.

Returning to the matter at hand she asks, "Where is he now?"

"Hiding out in the basement of an older woman's house. Even if they go to her place the entrance is covered by a rug, they'll never notice it."

She huffs her frustration then narrows her eyes, "And how do you know he's still there?"

"The basement has a mirror, he's still there."

Okay so the genie is perhaps smarter than she'd realized. "Show me."

His image fades and she sees the thief crouched down in a corner. It isn't the nicest space to hide out in, it appears to be a dumping ground for things no longer wanted in the house, which explains the mirror and the ceiling can't be more than six feet from the dirt floor.

"Show me the house," she commands and the image fades into a living room, with an older woman sitting in a rocking chair knitting who looks vaguely familiar. She spies a red cloak sitting on the floor and it's all she needs to know. She'd created that cloak for the woman she only knows as Granny, to keep her granddaughter from turning into a Werewolf in exchange for a potion that made her husband's occasional impotence permanent.

She's been wary of the deal, but though he saw countless healers all who swore they could help him with it, Leopold never again bedded her. She owes Granny, so even though she's harbouring a fugitive Regina won't punish her.

She poofs herself to a group of guards, tells them exactly where he is, with strict instructions they are not to do anything to hurt Granny or mess up her home. She's not sure they are competent enough to see the task through so transports herself outside the house disguised as a villager, her handheld mirror showing her the thief.

She watches as the guard's bust in the door loudly, and she shakes her head at their stupidity. She sees Robin Hood's head pop up as he looks around. He smiles and starts crawling away from the mirror, she thinks toward the left of the house. She walks toward the side, and she knows what he'd been so happy about. There's a carefully hidden trap door about ten feet from the house. A way to secretly escape from the house without detection. She wonders if the house came with it, or if it was Granny's invention. She bets it was Granny.

She wouldn't have even noticed it, if the door hadn't moved slightly. She thinks Robin is trying to slowly open the door, probably to keep silent. Her guards are still inside the house, and she doubts they've even found the inside door to the crawlspace. Good god, she needs a new guard, at the very least a new leader to whip these ones into shape.

She almost misses when Robin Hood exits, that's how smooth it is. She's shocked her guards even managed to capture him in the first place with how good he is. There has to be more to that story, she'll have to have the genie show her the arrest so she can see what happened, what mistake he made.

For now though, she starts to follow him as he darts off into the woods. He's fast and she's not exactly dressed for a chase, her heel catching in the soft ground, so she decides it's better to get him to the castle now, before she loses him.

With a flick of her hand, and a quick pull at his energy they materialize in her bedroom. She's glad she moved them when she did, because he'd been just at the edge of her reach when she grabbed for him.

It takes him a moment to realize what had happened and she takes advantage of it, settling herself onto the chaise, legs crossed, her left arm over them, her right gripping the arm of the chair, leaning forward just enough so her back arches that way that makes her chest look bigger.

He looks her over for a minute and she stays perfectly still. When it becomes clear to him she's not going to speak he asks, "Why am I here?"

She blinks, schooling her face into the picture of innocence. "Well, you are a wanted man."

He shakes his head, "If that was all you'd have killed me."

He's smart, direct and she finds she really likes it. So much so that she decides to stop playing games (well, all but one of them). She stands up slowly, he's still watching and she takes two measure steps toward him. "I'd like you to kill someone for me. Can you do that?"

She stops a mere foot away from him, purposefully stepping into his personal space.

He inhales shakily, and she can tell her presence is affecting him, though his voice is firm and strong. "Why would I do anything for you?"

She raises a brow, steps in even closer, leaning in toward his ear to whisper, "Because I have so much to offer."

She pulls back, placing her hand onto his chest, and he flinches away with a, "I seriously doubt that."

He's more difficult than others, but oh, does she enjoy a challenge, and she knows she can break him. He finds her attractive, even if it bothers him and that is something she can work with.

She brushes past him, showing off her best feature, her ass. When she completes her little walk she turns her head, to see that sure enough, he's watching her. She turns fully ask she asks him, "What will it take, hmm? What do you want? There must be something."

There's always something, and she'll get it out of him, whether it's the easy way or the hard way.

He's so smug when he tells her, "What I want you can't give."

She arches a brow, how typical, a man underestimating her. She'll use this to her advantage.

"Try me."

"The Sheriff of Nottingham is after me and my men."

Wow, seriously? She's offended over how little he thinks she can do. "Consider him dead."

He shakes his head. "It's not that simple, and I don't want him dead." He walks to the chaise and gesture toward it, "May I? I've been running around all day it would be nice to sit."

She whips up a little chair for him with a perfect view of the chaise, walking herself over and sitting down as she tells him, "You may not."

He lets out this little amused breath through his nose, and she fights the urge to show him how powerful she really is, to stop his smug grins once and for all. But his underrating of her will make things easier so she keeps quiet and waits for him to sit down in the chair she's made for him.

"Where was I?'

Making an utter fool of yourself, she thinks, but says, "You don't want him dead."

"Ah, yes, death is too good for him, and also there would just be others that would come after him. What I want is the Merry Men protected from him, and anyone who would wish them harm. Protected in a way where I could flaunt in Nottingham's face every day that he can't hurt us."

That does sound like good revenge. She knows a lot of the time killing is not actually the best revenge but in her case it is necessary. She hadn't expected him to be vengeful, but she thinks this will make it even easier.

"And of course," he continues, 'We'd also need to be safe from the crown."

She breaks into a smile. She'd expected nothing less, she knows they are a band of theives, letting them off scott free was always in her plan.

"Simple enough," she tells him and it really is, Rumple had made her show him her protection spell a couple of weeks ago for some unknown reason. It came in handy when she was plotting to kill Leopold, she put one on her father just in case it all went south.

She's surprised they aren't used more often, but it's advanced magic (that came easy to her) and it does take its toll. After casting it over her father she felt like shit for two days. It's not just exhaustion like most taxing magic, it left her feeling sick, her stomach turning, and Rumple told her that she got off easy. She knows that's true, she suffered dizzy spells and threw up for a week the first time she tried the spell years ago on a bird, and she didn't even succeed. Still, if you really wanted to protect someone, it's more than worth it, especially since the spell lasts until the caster's death and is irrevocable.

He raises a brow, "Are you saying _you _can actually do that?"

She doesn't like that insinuation, who knew the mighty Robin Hood was so sexist. "I can, unless you think a woman can't possibly do something so powerful.

He actually laughs at that. "Oh I have no doubt you are powerful, milady—"

"It's Your Majesty."

"I have no doubt you are powerful, Your Highness." She rolls her eyes, she's had about enough of his sass. "But I'm also on the run from the Dark One and from what I understand nothing can protect me from him."

"If that were true, you'd be dead."

He shrugs, "True, but he's waiting for some reason. I'd think he'd given up on me, but I'd be naive to think such a thing."

That's true, but she wonders if that maid of his had something to do with it, because Rumple is not one to show mercy. She's never protected someone from Rumple's power before, in theory they should be protected by the spell, but she's never tested if this one had a Dark One's power exception.

But she still has something to offer, "Perhaps I cannot promise full protection, but him and I are close, I'm sure I could arrange for him to forget whatever you did to him."

He thinks on it for a moment, his lips pursing. "I guess that would work, if you can make it so all of my Merry Men are protected, no exceptions."

"I can."

"Well then, Your Majesty, it appears we have a deal." He stands from his chair and hold his out, but it's a bit premature.

"I haven't even told you who I want you to kill yet."

He smirks, "How dumb do you think I am?"

She's not going to answer that, just arcs a challenging brow at him.

He keeps that smirk on his face. "I know it's Snow White."

And okay, he is smarter than she gave him credit for, but she has to ask. "How do you know that?"

"Because, anyone else you'd do yourself. She's the only person in this whole realm you can't dispose of in a way that traces back to you if you want to keep your throne."

He is good, this will serve him (and her) well.

She smiles, stands and reaches for his outstretched hand, "Then it seems we have a deal."

"That we do. Protect my men, and I'll be off to take care of your prey."

She scoffs, that is _not _how this is going to work. "No, no, you bring me her heart, then you get what you want."

"Sorry, Milady, that's not going to work for me. You fulfil your end first, then I do mine."

She doesn't like that, not one bit. She won't be able to kill him if he doesn't hold up his end, so she has no way to force him to do it. She can understand why he mistrusts her, she doesn't trust him, but she can't let this go down this way, he has far too much to gain.

Then it comes to her. "Give me your heart."

She can tell she's thrown him. "I… what?"

"I'll have no way to make sure you hold your end. I need something to make sure you do, your heart will do just fine."

He hesitates and she assures, "I won't be able to crush it, since you'll be protected."

He still looks uneasy, but then who wouldn't at the thought of giving over their heart. "Okay, I'll do it. How long will it take to protect us?"

"A day or two, but I need to check something first." It's actually only an hour or so, once she starts the spell, but she wants to be fully alert and awake, to minimize the awful after effects. She's fairly certain she can protect the group simply by using the name "the Merry Men", but she wants to verify that. If not and she has to do them individually it will take forever, because she will have to wait for the effects to pass to start again.

While she doesn't want to be suffering when Snow dies, wants to be able to enjoy it fully, she can blame her agony on Snow's death. They'll say she was so distraught over the loss of her husband and daughter she made herself sick.

Robin tells her, "Let me know when you've done it, and then I'll start my end."

"I'll send word by bird. I need one thing though, when you do it, when you kill her, do it by a mirror." He gives her a funny look, so she explains, "So I can see it."

"Very well, consider it done."

This went surprisingly well, sure she's giving up more than she wanted and she's not entirely comfortable with this doing her part first bit, but she didn't spend nearly as much time as she thought she would convincing him.

"There's only one thing left then, you ready?"

He nods and swallows nervously. She places her hand on his chest over his heart. He shakes a bit, but doesn't pull away this time. She reaches in, gives his heart a good yank and rips it from his chest. He makes a pained sound that she ignores, it's nothing compared to the way she's going to feel after she protects them all.

She dismisses him after that, does her research and confirms that all she needs is to think of the "Merry Men," and she'll catch them all in her spell. Something about the deal isn't sitting well with her, but it has to be just the fact that she's going first. She has his heart, she can make him kill Snow later, even if he betrays her.

Come to think of it, she should have taken his heart and made him do it, none of this deal business. But she agreed to it, and she doesn't break her word.

* * *

The Queen was not at all what he expected. He's heard rumours of her beauty, but nothing he heard accurately portrayed the absolute siren that she is. Dark hair, dark eyes, sinful curves and this overall erotic aura. Rumplestilskin had warned him she'd try to seduce him, and that he had to resist the pull—Robin had laughed, not at all concerned about the warning. He knows now he should have heeded the warning. He'd seen her perched on that chaise, and had been hit by an intense wave of attraction had rendered him mute for a moment, had him needing a bit of time to recompose himself and focus on the task at hand. But try as he might, he couldn't help but sneak a few glances here and there at her body. It was ridiculous, there he was conning the Queen, and his mind kept going places it shouldn't.

Even with his distraction he managed to fulfil his task. The deal is done, and now he all he has to do is wait. He'd had to give up his heart, which means when she finds out what they've done, he's in for it. She won't be able to kill him, but he's sure she'll find many ways to make him wish he was dead.

He doesn't understand why she wants to kill Snow White, who is practically still a child, so goddamn badly. But then one of his men once watched her crush a woman's heart for training alongside Rumplestilskin, so perhaps the reason is as simple as she doesn't want to share the throne, since clearly she hadn't wanted to share her teacher. She's dark, evil and twisted, and it should not make her hotter, but it does, and he hates himself a little for feeling it. He'll never act on it, but god, he wishes he didn't feel this way, what would his men think if they knew.

Once she finds out what he did surely that attraction will fizzle out. There will be nothing sexy about her taking her anger out on him, right?

He knows there are many things going on here he doesn't and probably won't ever understand. Even so, the price he's paying, torture from the Queen for the rest of her life, is worth it to save the princess.

He'd been worried about Snow White from the first moment he heard of the King's demise. He watched her take on thieves with just her bow and he knew then she was something special, the ruler the kingdom needed. And so, he had introduced himself, took the young girl under his wing, helped her refine her bow skills and showed her the inequality and unfairness that ran rampant in the kingdom. He'd thought she might be able to convince her father to change things, and if not, at least when she ruled things would be different.

Then the King died and Rumplestilskin had appeared pitching this plan for Snow White's safety and he knew things were worse than he thought. What he can't figure out, and is well aware he probably never will, is why Rumplestilskin is helping Snow White. What did the Queen do to him that made him turn on her?

It's a fight he really doesn't want to be in middle of, but is because as it had so helpfully been pointed out, he really didn't have a choice. It was this or be killed on the spot for stealing from the Dark One years ago. This realm would be so much better if people would let go of their grudges, but he knows that's asking far too much of the Dark One and the Queen, even thought it would probably make both of them happier in the long run.

He let go of his grudges, focused on fixing what he can of the issues in this world rather than getting revenge on those who killed Marian. He had been tempted, sorely tempted, but Friar Tuck had talked him down and he is extremely grateful for it. Vengeance wouldn't have cured his grief, and just would have perpetuated the cycle.

He'd risked everything to save Marian, only to have captured and killed months later. He failed to protect her, that still burns at him, but he won't do anything about it. At least this time, his efforts will not all be in vain. As long as the Queen enacts the spell Snow White will be safe, as well as all of his men.

What the Queen doesn't know, and what he is terrified she will somehow find out before she completes the spell, is that Snow White is a member of the Merry Men. Anything that protects them protects her as well. It's clever, but he won't be satisfied until it's all done.

He doesn't trust the Dark One, and doesn't trust the Queen, so he's on edge, with nothing to do but wait. He doesn't want to return to camp because he doesn't want to have to tell his men what he gave up to make this happen. They'll be furious and he doesn't want to deal with it, but he knows he should go back, that they are worried about him.

His own worry isn't as prominent as it should be, which just serves to remind him that his heart is missing, and he will never be free again. The only good thing about being heartless is that that knowledge doesn't burn as much as it should. It's only a dull pain thinking of his imminent torture, barely more bothersome than a ragged nail.

Oddly, the only thing that hadn't really muted was his lust for the Queen. If anything it had intensified the moment she put her hand onto his heart, the spike thankfully fading as soon as she ripped the organ from his body. He doesn't know what to make of it, but doesn't think it will matter, he doubts she'll ever want to see his face again when she finds out what he did, how he cheated her.

This plan had better work, but if it doesn't at least he will have lost his life fighting for the right side.

He returns to camp after dark, chats quickly with John who's on watch before retiring to his tent. He tries to sleep, but sleep evades him. Time seems to crawl as he waits for the night to pass. He's a bit of a zombie all morning, and camp is quiet and subdued as they wait for news.

A bird arrives just after lunch, and the note has only two words: It's done.

The men begin to celebrate as he sits dumbstruck, still in disbelief this plan actually worked.


End file.
